How I'm really doing: Quarantine week 6

Infusion for Crohn's
I haven't done an all-out personal/rambly post since my Xanga days, but here goes.

If it gives you any indication of what life is like nowadays, I thought this was quarantine week 5, until I looked back at my calendar. On March 13, I brought my laptop home from work, "just in case," and by Monday, March 16, coronavirus had ramped up so much that we were highly encouraged to work from home. The week after that, most of the office was working at home, and that brings us to now, end of April.

I live by myself. I have always enjoyed living by myself, but lately it has been really hard. I consider myself a self-sufficient person, but I think human beings in general are not supposed to be without other humans, or at least having conversations with them, for this long. I had a ten-minute conversation with a condo neighbor the other day and that was the longest in-person conversation I had had in weeks.

It's been about 5-6 weeks now since I've seen my parents or my boyfriend. Both my parents and I are considered high-risk (them because they're old[er], and me because I have Crohn's, aka my immune system is crap and won't give me any protection if I get the coronavirus), so we have been staying away from each other, though we might do a "porch pick-up" soon. My boyfriend has asthma so is probably also high risk, but he's also an essential worker and still works with 200+ people per day, so we agreed it wasn't wise to see each other in-person. I think I saw him the weekend of March 13th, probably for the last time (for now) on March 15th. I wish I had known that would have been the last time, but unfortunately that's sometimes how "last times" work.

I started a new drug for my Crohns and I have had two infusions of it now. So far it is working pretty well (fingers crossed), but I am only being cautiously optimistic, because that's how both of the other biologics (Humira and Stelara) were at the beginning too; they worked, and then they didn't, and I was on the toilet much too frequently. I have to go every eight weeks for the 2-hour infusion, at an infusion center nearby, but for the first few rounds, the schedule is 1st infusion (done), then the 2nd infusion two weeks later (just done, this Saturday), then another in four weeks, and then we get into the eight weeks schedule. I currently have "vampire marks" in both my arm and my hand, because they had to take blood from me too and couldn't get it from the infusion poke, for some reason.

Friends have been good about checking in and I talk to people online frequently, and sometimes via video chat, but it's not the same as human contact. I see friends who have kids/husbands complaining about how hard it is, especially with homeschooling, and I don't doubt it; "the grass is always greener" and all of that. But it has been REALLY hard, and the worst part is that there is no end date. I have always been a planner (see: my color-coded Google Calendar ...) and I am not sure when I will be returning to the office, or when life can start to get back to "normal" or at least some semblance of normal. I've been reading that concerts won't be returning until NEXT SUMMER, which is crazy; I have tickets to four different events (concerts + Jim Gaffigan) this summer and I'm sure they will all be postponed, if not canceled. Hopefully Ticketmaster + Groupon will be good about refunds.

I am fortunate in that I live in a nice condo—if this had happened 4 years ago, I would have been in my 670 square foot apartment, and if this had happened 8 years ago, I would have been living with my parents, and I'm sure we would have driven each other crazy—and that I have heat, and a fridge full of food, and I really don't NEED to leave the house if I don't want to. (but I try to go out 1-2x a week for takeout, and every other day for walking, because otherwise I go stir-crazy)

I almost feel ashamed when I read stuff that people have been copying/pasting on Facebook like "if you are laid off and are going to bed hungry, send me a text and I'll do a food drop-off, no questions asked" because, luckily, that is not my situation. My biggest annoyance last week was that Home Chef took away one of my meals, due to lack of product, so I had to call them and ask if I could sub in a different third meal (#firstworldproblems, for sure, but I was annoyed I wasn't getting the three meals I had initially ordered).

And I'm actually kind of glad I haven't had kids yet (I want kids some day), because I think working from home with kids would definitely be more difficult than my current situation.

But at the same time ... it's been really hard. I miss hugs, and I'm not even a hugger. Calls and video chats are nice—I have a standing virtual "game night" with my boyfriend and some friends on Fridays, too—but they don't make up for the "real deal," aka seeing people / talking to people in person. I'm glad to be safe (and alive, obviously!), but the situation has been more difficult than I thought it would be, and the fact that there's no end date in sight makes it even harder.

How are you doing during quarantine, and what's your home situation like?

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